The Culture Fix

My first exposure to Sumo wrestling came when I visited the port town of Osaka, Japan - courtesy of the US Navy - in the 80s. I had wondered into a restaurant that had what appeared to be a number of shrines to famous wrestlers, including some rather disturbing pictures of these behemoths with their tiny, porcelain doll girlfriends. The menu was painted on the walls and no one in the restaurant spoke English. My Japanese was limited to the lyrics from Styx's recently released "Mr. Roboto" so I attempted to blend in by saying "Domo Arigato." Often.

I was extremely hungry and finally ordered my meal by pointing to a section of the wall that had a lot of writing and mooing like a cow. It didn't take long for the waitress (I know we use "server" now but I want to give the reader a feel for the era) to bring me three tiny bowls filled with a green substance, a yellow substance, and a brown substance. Disappointed, I fumbled around with my chopsticks and finally managed a bite of the green item.

Wasabi.

Sensing my distress, the waitress ran over chattering and gesturing wildly as I sat there with tears and snot running down my face. She fetched a couple of cooks and the three of them began to lecture me, in Japanese of course, presumably telling me that I shouldn't eat straight wasabi. Then we all had a good laugh. I recall that even a few patrons joined in. Interestingly, I read the novel "Shogun" later that year and realized that as a result of this incident I was probably morally obligated to commit seppuku in my shame.

I finally got my meal, having apparently ordered fish leather in poop sauce. Under the watchful eyes of nearly everyone in the place I choked down my supper. I concluded that Japanese and American cows spoke a different language.

Fast forward twenty years. My wife and I eat sushi nearly every week, alternating between six of our favorite restaurants in SLC, Park City, Layton, and Ogden. Anyway, back to the Sumo hazing incident.

To hell with it. Here's the CNN article.

Back in the day when I shared an apartment in SF's Chinatown with a heroin addict and a sailor one of my favorite day trips was catching the BART to Berkeley for a stroll down Telegraph Avenue and grabbing a slice of Blondie's Pizza. Berkeley hasn't changed much in my lifetime, and while I wasn't fortunate to attend college there I did like to take in the weirdness from time to time. It is a different brand of weirdness than, say, Utah, but it was every bit as unique.

It seems that the City of Berkeley passed some sort of amendment inviting its citizens to gather and protest at the Marine Corps recruiting office, being that the Marines are warmongers and babykillers and all. Good fun, except free speech in these dark times does not include disparaging the military, this despite the fact that this administration hasn't exactly been good to them.

Enter the wingnuts from the GOP. They want to introduce legislation, the Semper Fi act, which would stop $2 million in federal tax subsidies for Berkeley and instead transfer it to the Marine Corps. Utah's own Priesthood delegate to the U.S. Congress, Chris Cannon, happily signed on and was immediately called to task by the Salt Lake Trib's Paul Rolly.

Though it's only 728 miles between Temple Square in Salt Lake City and downtown Berkeley, they might as well be on opposite sides of the galaxy. If you're looking for something more exotic in the way of a culture fix, flip a coin for either one.

Just got the word that I'm being sent to San Juan, P.R. on business for four days in July. A quick scan of the weather history shows temperature ranges from 25C to 32C - ideal for the health and well-being of homo sapiens. Now I must (1) find the location of every oceanside watering hole within walking distance of the Caribe Hilton and (2) to think of ways to ditch those meetings that would interfere with my patronizing said watering holes.

Oh yeah, and (3) avoid hurricanes.

Now that the testimony meeting...er...press conference is over the citizens can go back to doing the Lord's work. Meanwhile God, in His wrath, made it snow again.

I'm worried about the spiritual welfare of this state's Mormon population after yesterdays primary election. It seems a few sheep strayed from the flock and cast votes for...gasp...gentiles. The Trib blog Salt Lake Crawler tells in which counties The Adversary has taken up residence.

In what will surely be the kiss of death to the best candidate remaining, I'm off to the polls to participate in that ol' democracy thing. I haven't fared well in recent elections and, sadly, neither has my country.

Good luck Senator.

16.2 Inches of new snow in the last 24 hours. They told me this was a desert!

Let me state now, for the record, that it is extremely unwise to drink four pints of this and five (I think) shots of that. Oh Jesus.

Thought I'd post a couple of pics taken about 5 minutes ago to illustrate just why my wife and I are so anxious to get there. It's been that kind of winter. Yes, that's our driveway. Shut up.

It's not that I dislike Applebee's. I ate there at least two or three times in '07 as a matter of convenience. Still I find the menu boring and their participation in the current Yankee eatery trend of hanging faux junk (which, to me, places its value below that of actual junk) on the walls more than a little disturbing. That said, I will likely find myself in Applebee's several more times this year despite the decor. Applebee's, like so many other chain restaurants, simply becomes another pit stop in the rat race.

But Cabo San Lucas?

Applebee's joins Burger King, Dairy Queen, Haagen Daz, Hard Rock, Subway, and of course, McDonald's in slopping boardroom inspired swill to sunburned touristas fearing, presumably, Montezuma's Revenge. As always, I will take that risk because there is something inherently obscene in munching a Whopper with cheese on any beach in any foreign country.

Driven by an overwhelming desire to escape work and this seemingly endless snow I refuse to let corporate imperialism prevent me from enjoying myself in Cabo. I just hope they have a Starbucks.